a million light reflections pass over me

JUNE 2020




Overall, June was a great moonth for my soul. Each fast I do leaves me feeling more clear and grounded and this month’s was no exception. My diet stabilised after a little bit of a blow out last month and with the exception of a few days of indulgence, I stuck to my guns. I decided to leave off the coconut yogurt as I was noticing indigestion at night. Have transitioned to early dinners (sunset) and so far so good. My back pain has reduced considerably, which is a true blessing. I put it down to everything. Hard to know exactly what is the cause but all this activity in the Garden is a big part of it i’m sure. Hauling a load seems to work for me, unlike axe-work which continues to set me back, literally. Prayer was great this month and only inspires me to do more. Alone, i started working with a candle and calling on the light of Christ to be with me and teach me. The first time i did this I heard the words, “feel your heart Samuel” in my ears which precipitated an hour or so somatic experience that was like an altered state. Felt so much more loving on the other side. Getting triggered less by housemates too though still expressing my voice as needed. Praying with others – did that twice, both time with the trojans, both time, though short in length were really powerful. I love praying with others. It’s so deep and settling. Both times gave me renewed inspiration for working on this website and focusing my life on God even more. I started reading the Kyballion and a win is reading it slowly, rather than rushing through it. I’m halfway through and it’s a good reminder of esoteric hermetic wisdom. Listened to a bunch of Neil Kramer audio too which has been edifying too. The Garden continues to go from strength to strength. four varieties of vegetables are coming along well with the exception of the brocoli which got eaten TWICE by a local possum. I have remedied that situation (hopefully) by using some milk crates at night to cover the plants. I built a compost bin from wood I harvested from our land when I did a bunch of pruning. I also redirected the outflow hose from the washing machine to go directly into the middle garden which should help the peas tremendously when they go in this month.

slogans are gay



days of eating wheat & cheese


hours of fasting



overall focus score


What have been or continue to be my failures and fuck-ups:

  • still no clients
  • still mouth breathing
  • starting to see how inhibited my expression is from what it could be & has been
  • my evening habit of reading went right out the window in favour of youtube videos
  • changed my website title again

Rating: 5 out of 5.

“Excellent Presence”

I have so much more time and rest in my mind & body. Really noticed myself slowing down and feeling simply content this month


Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

“Feel your Heart Samuel”

I really can’t do this life without the ineffable truth of God


Rating: 3 out of 5.

“fucking possums”

Man it hurt.