Reaching for me

reaching for ME

What is identity? What is a healthy identity? What does it mean to have the space to be ourselves? How do we talk about something invisible?

Our identity is a sacred object

A healthy identity is flexible, porous, protective, discerning, vibrant, engaged, daring, enigmatic & honest.

It allows for growth by seeking engagement with the world and maintaining privacy for silent knowing & deep integration. It is fluent in Yes, No and I don’t know. It is deeply connected to sensation & desire and the intuitive wisdom of the body|mind|spirit. It is capable of allowing expression out and impression in service of our best interests.

In practical terms, a healthy identity involves healing patterns of self-harm and growing self-connection

Our identity is a scared object.

Our being-in-the-world is creational mastery in expression.

The very fact of our existence is proof of how marvellous we are. And yet, being human can be hard. The interplay between our own identity and other people’s is where the joy of life is as well as the pain. We develop methods for navigating the world that are more or less supportive of bringing ourselves forward in authenticity. What therapists and psychologists call pathologies, friends call being a dickhead and we call ‘just the way I am’. The symptomology of a suffering soul may look different but the underlying mechanics are the same:

  1. We get flooded with sensation
  2. We lose our vision, insight & empathy
  3. We attack the world and/or ourselves , get the fuck out of dodge, lock up or roll over and play dead
  4. and find a way to avoid or discharge the uncomfortable sensation –
  5. usually in a way that damages ourselves or our relationships
  6. but does allow us to return to a homeostasis that is bearable
  7. but keeps us doomed to repeat the cycle of experience
  8. until we learn a different way,
  9. expand our abilities and grow



Will &


OUR IDENTITY IS A SAcRED & scared OBJECT Engaged in the dance of life.

In that dance, we are body | mind |spirit encountering the full scope of the human experience.

Reckless abandon, slow dancing with our lover, slipping and falling on the floor, stepping on other people’s toes, bumping into others, feeling too shy to let ourselves really dance how we want to , or with whom we want to. Dancing to music we don’t really like, wishing we would have stayed home, feeling obliged to dance with great Aunt Melba who smells of beetroot because our parents gave us that look that said if we don’t there’ll be trouble. Getting teased for the way we dance, getting embarrassed and hurt. Starting fights, storming off the dancefloor and burning the hall to the ground.

The dance is making our own music, learning to enjoy movement itself as we feel ourselves from the inside out. It’s sneaking out the back for a smoke and a drink of something exciting. Meeting someone who gets your motor running. Staying up all night till the sun comes up. It’s hearing the music even when none is playing. It’s humming alone to the sound of life you feel pusing through your veins.

The Path of Me

The King. The Warrior. The Magician. The Fool.

You are the divine trinity of Body|mind|spirit

Me, myself and I AM.

Your glory is one with the stars.

All therapy is the movement back to God [(W)hol-e-ness]

Feel inspired? Feel resonance? Want support?

I teach and practice all this stuff and I might be able to help. I’d love to hear from you to see about supporting you on your path.

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